Life can sometimes feel like a juggling act. We’re constantly trying to keep everything up at once and hoping things don’t come toppling down on top of us.
If you’re like me the balls don’t all stay in the air 100% of the time.
Kids get sick back to back, I have a bad flare up, or our lives get packed without really understanding how it happened.
We’re left sweeping away the dust from our faces and wondering how we get back on track.
The biggest thing for me over the years has been letting go of the fact that these times do come and not beating myself up over it.
I had the hardest time a few years ago thinking if I couldn’t keep everything the way I wished it would be then there was just no point in trying. I was overwhelmed with where to start and how to pick it all up after it dropped.
It was all too much and it left me feeling beat down and defeated regularly.
I wondered what I was doing
If I was doing anything right
If I would ever be able to get my stuff together and do this homemaker – stay at home mom gig the right way.
“The Right Way,” whatever that means, right….
So my moment of grace came in when I let go of my own expectations and allowed myself room to be human, room to start fresh, and give myself grace around this idea that somehow I wasn’t measuring up to the mother I thought I would be.
Like my home was a reflection on my parenting, when really it was how I looked at my role of as a homemaker and my inadequacies there that made me a not so nice mother.
I was grumpy, tired, and overwhelmed. Which didn’t translate well into patience.
So as soon as I let go of needing things to be a certain way or feeling less than for it, everything got easier.
I started to see the house work as just that, simply housework and not my worth. And while it needed to be done I no longer thought that it was all my responsibility to get it all done.
At the time it was a huge idea for me to grasp. Like who was I if I didn’t get everything done on my own. Somehow it meant I wasn’t measuring up or good enough in my role as a mother. Now it’s almost insanity to think about, not asking for help. Things have changed so much and for the better. Now I’m willing and ready to expect chores to be done and to have assistance when I need it.
Which is daily by the way, because I now know I don’t have to have everyone’s balls up in the air along with mine. That they can juggle their own too.
Next, I would get clear on what makes the biggest impact in our home and how we run. For us that’s a clean kitchen and the laundry kept up on. So those are the two things that I get to work on when I know I need to pull us back together. I don’t look around and allow myself to dwell on anything else just those things and I find peace there.
I take inventory of our schedules and if something needs to be dropped then I drop it. If I’ve made a mistake and taken on too much I’m not too proud to say so and fix it before I get over my head again.
It really just comes down to two main things.
Allowing yourself GRACE! You’re not how clean your house is and you’re allowed help. Your kids can have chores and it only takes a small amount of training for them to be up and running all on there own with them.
Second, what makes the biggest impact in your homes happiness?
Is it a clean kitchen?
Is it laundry done and put away?
Is it a great evening routine that gets everyone ready to go and out the door in the morning?
Find what shifts your household the greatest amount and focus there and allow the rest to be.
We all drop the ball from time to time. It’s allowing ourselves to get back up without the guilt and resentment that keeps us hostage to our own unhappiness and cycle of misery – that makes the biggest difference.